Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything -James 1:4 (NIV).
Most of us, before we're married, imagine that love will solve all our problems. But could it be that patience, more than love, is the sum and substance of a great marriage?
Our society rewards problems solvers. Every challenge is an opportunity to be met quickly. Then comes marriage, and we problem-solvers are suddenly faced with a challenge that taxes the very essence of who we are. We think we're called to fix things when they're broken. To make things work. But then we wake up one morning to find that the person next to us is more complicated than anything we've ever had to deal with.
It is two people who give expression to marital oneness. Two people -usually polar opposites- who commit themselves to building a framework for physical, emotional and spiritual oneness, by accepting, respecting, and unconditionally loving each other. To do so, however, takes time, which means we have to be patient.
Patience in marriage works a lot like faith. It demonstrates the certainty that what we hope for -physical, emotional, spiritual oneness- is waiting for us, even though we can't yet see it. My wife and I have had more than twenty years to practice the power of patience. Of forgiving each other. Of accepting. Of instilling hope. And the longer we're married, the more practice we get. Every now and then even we married veterans need to be reminded that oneness is an assurance that only those with patience can hold on to -and one day realize.
MARRIAGE BUILDERS
- Identify and describe a time when you tried a "quick" solution for an ongoing problem in your marriage. What happened?
- What are some other areas where patience comes in play in your relationship with each other?
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